Rain Rain FUCK THE FUCK OFF

I think that’s how the nursery rhyme goes.

After my exertions of the weekend i started to pick things up again on tuesday, heading out for my usual pre-work hilly training ride. I surprised myself, i had good legs. furthermore, there seemed to be no head or tailwind for the first time in living memory. I went up and over Dundry and then up Belmont.

On Belmont’s vertiginous lower slopes i looked down at the chainrings and noticed there was an alarming amount of flex or lateral movement with each pedal stroke. i resolved to look at it later when i got home. at the time i presumed it may have been because i’d been running the inner ring on my fixed wheel over winter and this possibly might have bent it a bit. but what the hell, i’m not robert forstermann. i ignored it and carried on riding.

oooh la la, that's a lot of leg

I was listening to music; this sometimes helps and can make the ride feel a bit different. occasionally it can stifle the pained squeak of a badly-fettled bicycle part, and I fear this may have happened on this occasion. I rode on along Beggar’s Bush Lane and enjoyed the pace and speed. I felt good, and like Ralph the Rover, had no fear of impending disaster.

I was about five miles from work when some bad stuff happened. There are mechanicals, and there are mechanicals. (and there also the mechanicals, who feature heavily in a Midsummer Night’s Dream, a group of craftsmen who also enjoy amateur dramatics and like to gambol in the woods and get in the way of courting Athenian lovers).

I was out of the saddle, honking up to the downs from the top of bridge valley road when my chain unshipped and i nearly emasculated myself on my shiny cinelli stem. i stopped and attempted to flick it back across and on but to no avail. i looked down more closely and realised my chainrings were no longer properly attached to my bicycle, but rattling around like some filthy dancing hippy’s bangles at the front of a hawkwind set at glastonbury.

not one, not two, but THREE chainring bolts had mysteriously vanished. I had only two left, and they were about to  follow their suicidal brethren and leap into the void.

i hastily rearranged the remaining two and limped the last 4 miles to work, anxiously checking every 2 minutes to see if it was still hanging together. I rode home in the evening accompanied by a horrific scream of grinding metal, scraping with each pedal stroke. in truth, it was a minor mechanical because i could ride home.

i’ve had an additional rest day today on account of the abhorrent weather. I made use of the extra time by massively overtightening every chainring bolt in the house. this may lead to complications under the ‘law of unintended consequences’ at some point in the future, but it’s a risk i’ve got to take. this weekend sees a fast 10 (weather permitting) and the Beacon Roads Mountain Time Trial, which is in short, one of the best time trials in the world and hideously tough. I am currently undecided as to whether i should take the uber weapon of the c-bomb…

Where Do I Start, Where Do I Begin?

There’s a thread on a well-known internet forum congratulating the Drag2Zero boys on their astonishing start to the season, with particular emphasis on the violent destruction of the National 25 Mile Time Trial Competition record last weekend. It needed a 30mph+ ride from each of the 3 counters, and then some.

Drag2Zero are a racing team; a hand-picked group of extraordinarily committed and fast cyclists. This year they added both Jeff Jones and Matt Bottrill to their roster. Behind the team is Simon Smart who used to work in formula one. He is a scientist with a specialism in aerodynamics; an expert at reducing drag through the use of a wind tunnel. Here’s Simon in full flow:

He’s a very nice chap. I met him at a 10 last year. My instinct was to ask him what equipment gives you the biggest gains for the smallest amount of money, or what helmet I should use, but it’s a useless question because the dynamics involved mean it’s different for the individual.

The thread congratulates the team on their results, and also gives a lot of credence to the notion of wind-tunnel testing. Personally, i think it’s the thin end of a very thick wedge; one which starts with a phenemonal amount of hard work and a strict, unyeilding training regime, before going through the right equipment, and the getting of a coach, then finally ending up with the tunnel as one of the last areas to achieve gains. I’ve seen the level of work put in by riders like Jeff, and it is staggering. He’s been riding for years in the colours of Chippenham and District, making progress year on year until last season where he won both the BBAR and broke the 12 hour national record.

I train hard and i have some fairly decent equipment. Occasionally i have ridden set distances relatively quickly. I am fairly fast for a club cyclist. However, i don’t have a powermeter, or a coach, and most of my really spangly bike-porn is second hand. My disc wheel is a case in point, it came in at around £300 – not a small sum, but minuscule in comparison to the price of a new zipp sub-9 with a powertap. The cost of a wind tunnel session is £900. For most people who have reached the point where they have considered, or even taken part in tunnel-testing, it’s likely to have been at the thin end, and they are often athletes with a genuine sporting pedigree, despite their status in a predominantly amateur sport.

At some point you have to draw the line, but where that line sits is very difficult to ascertain. It’s clearly linked to how much disposable income you have, and how much you are prepared to ‘buy time’ in pursuit of an amateur sport or all-consuming hobby. I think it also always comes back to one thing; prior to making any expensive investment of this nature it’s probably best to ensure you’ve fine-tuned the inexpensive things first: namely your personal fitness.

Boardman Air TT 9.0 Full Review

I did promise a full review of my TT bike once i’d ridden it in anger a few times. Last year i used a planet-x stealth which did the job but was starting to look a little bit antiquated next to some of the more modern machines.

the boardman in full flow

The Main Details:

If you’re getting a Boardman it’s worth taking a similar approach to me. Essentially, each frame in the range is the same apart from the very top end one, the 9.8, which has a different carbon layup. All the others are identical, and the aerodynamic properties and design of the 9.8 and the 9.0 are also the same. You are paying for the finishing kit. The 9.0 comes with Aksiums as standard and a SRAM rival groupset. This is fine by me because my intention was to immediately switch it all out and around for the bits i already have.  The 9.0 costs around £2000 for the complete bike and the prices for the others in the range increase in stages, topping out at an eye-watering, kidney-exchanging £8000 for the 9.8.

It’s also worth considering that Chris Boardman is the director of research and engineering for British Cycling and therefore fully involved in the process of ‘marginal gains’ over the past decade. His role was to ensure that the gold-medal winning world champions from within the Brailsford group have the best possible equipment. His attention to detail is carried across to this range of bikes.

Why Did I Buy The Air TT?

I was looking for a bike that didn’t break the bank in the first instance. My other requirements were that it had to be very slippery indeed with carefully engineered tube shapes and minimal frontal area. I also wanted hidden brakes and the cabling to be very tidy, with the outers entering the top tube behind the stem where the air is already swirling around. I need the bike to be light; coming in at as close to 8 or so kilos fully built as i could get. The Boardman fulfilled all of these with aplomb. I also was looking for a red bike. This could have been a deal breaker.

What sort of riding do I use it for? 

This season i’ve ridden 7 races. With the exception of the very first race which was a loosener, i’ve come either 2nd or 3rd in each one. I have done mostly hilly time trials with varying amounts of climbing. For this reason i need a TT bike that climbs and descends well, feel stable and also corners well. I’ve been on the extensions much more than last season because i feel more confident in the bike’s stability. It rides beautifully well. Climbing on the base bar is also pretty good. It’s worth noting that on my first spin out i took it up Belmont Hill and managed a 4.04 – this might mean nothing to you but it’s quick, trust me, for a TT bike with a set of mavic aksiums.

I’ve set a PB on every single course i’ve ridden so far this year. On the hilly courses i’ve been around 3 minutes quicker on each course. This is a huge leap forwards and is down to a combination of things, clearly increased fitness, but the bike plays a part.

Component Changes:

I immediately swapped out the chainset for Rotor Q rings. These look cool and as yet i haven’t noticed any other difference. This is a good thing. I have a hed 3 front wheel and a renn disc on the back with a campag cassette. This meant swapping the SRAM shifters for shimano friction, which then meant i had to swap the rear mech for shimano because of the stupid pull-ratio of SRAM. With these minor modifications the bike was ready to race.

How Does it Ride? 

The Boardman rides like a dream. Sometimes, when i’m really pushing a big gear and it’s pan flat, it feels like i’m sat on a guided missile, remorselessly tracking along. I find it much easier to push the big gear and regularly find that i’m in the 54:11. I’m much much lower than last year and thus have a smaller frontal profile. What this means is i’ve managed to adopt a more aerodynamic riding position without any cost to power output. It’s a delight to ride, really, it feels amazing and goes like the clappers. Or as my dad used to say; “it moves like shit off a shovel”. He also used to say “goes like hot snot” but i never really knew why, i mean, if ever afflicted by ‘hot snot’ as an ailment i might be able to check out the worth of this simile. I hope it never happens.

you can see (or not see) the hidden brake and clean lines.

If you’re thinking of getting a new TT bike then i’d heartily recommend the Boardman. You get proven aerodynamics and a pro-level frame, and if you’re canny it’s possible to put it together on a budget, relatively speaking. Lastly – this bike survived a pretty massive crash on Wednesday without a scratch on it. I was battered to pieces. This is a good thing, i think.

Power to Weight Ratio

i was cycling recently (quel surprise) along a narrow road without room to be passed safely by cars. Behind me was an enormous range rover, the approximate size of an ocean liner. To be fair, they waited patiently until it was safe enough to pass and then wallowed out across the road. I felt smug to be on my bike and not in a vastly overpriced metaphor on wheels.

but then i got to thinking, and calculating… and started to wonder about the price per kilogram of our respective machines, and had a startling thought: in terms of pounds per kilo an expensive bicycle is probably more expensive than an expensive car. Cue some research:

A Range Rover with most of the key accessories and finishing kit weighs around 2,800 kilograms and costs £70,000 . This works out at £27.85 per kilo.

A Felt F1 with most of the key accessories and finishing kit weighs around 6.7kg and costs about £7000. This works out at £1044 per kilogram.

 

 

Race Blade Longs (SKS vs Crud)

The race blade longs have arrived. here are the key points:

1. they were installed with a bare minimum of fuss. as soon as i realised the best policy is always to read and then wholly ignore the instructions, i was good to go. they clip around the QR on the wheel axle. you have to remove the springs. the only problem i had was that the small plastic expanding jobbie used to secure the mudflap to the mudguards does not hold in place with the metal washer supplied. i swapped it for a very short mudguard bolt and self-tapping nut. i felt suitably worthy and masculine after effecting this bodge.

2. they are really easy to adjust to avoid any issues with rubbing or noisesome nastiness. they have two very small allen bolts that allow you to adjust height. this is very nifty.

3. the use of two metal ‘L’ clips means that the mudguard does not have to go under the brake bridge. this is a real step forward and an insightful solution to a problem. Crudguards are bedevilled by this issue, they go right under the brake caliper and thus the clearance is so tight you can’t run anything other than 19mm tyres (I exaggerate, but only marginally) and most people i know who have piously stated just how goddamn wonderful crudguards are already have clearance for full mudguards.

4. they extend right down and are thus good at keeping spray off your riding companions. that’s if your riding companions have opted to wait, or instead put the hammer down when you are eating a banana and left you alone to bang your face repeatedly against a block headwind whilst they saunter up the road in their own belgian echelon. bastards. in which case next time you go out don’t use any mudguards and give them a mouthful of ebola-infected slurry from north somerset’s finest country lanes.

5. i have also road tested them this weekend. at first they did that slightly high pitched rubbing noise on a couple of occasions, but it then just disappeared, as though they settled in and were happy. i used them through 45 miles of filth and mess and they were grand. i used them again today and no problems whatsoever. also, my feet were utterly dry – a problem with the shorter race blades.

in conclusion, sks race blade longs are the answer to the following questions:

1. can someone please, for the love of god, find me a mudguard that is better than the crudguard, that doesn’t rub for four hours or flap around in the breeze and is in no way flimsy?

2. how can i convert my once proud race bike, which has now become my second best bike, into some sort of fast trainer, and avoid being persona non grata on the club run?

3. what mudguards should i buy for my only bike, one which i foolishly bought without mudguard eyelets, despite intending to ride throughout the vagaries of the english four-season winter?

i am very happy with them.

the rear; note clips on the QR axle.

the brake bridge; note 'spatter' around the brake

front, with brake bridge adapter

front, with mudflap 'bodge'

The Race Blade Longs Have Arrived!

Pretty much as it says in the title: the holy grail, the missing link, the ark of the covenant, all three of the above in one glorious triumvirate. or to put it another way, the fastest way to convert your blingety blong roadbike into a hapless, cowshit-encrusted winter hack.

the only problem is i haven’t got time to try them out, or photo them, or review them until Friday because tonight i’m going on an archaeological mission to a venerated BSCC club member’s house to look through copies of cycling weekly dating back to the 1920s. this is all part of a hush secret research project. I’m also looking at his memorabilia, which is also part of a hush secret, on the QT, never never, black ops project.

so many exciting things, so little time…. hold tight readers! all will be revealed!

Mixing Groupsets

I’m doing some tweaking on my new TT bike. now is the season to be fettling. i had left it, thinking i’d do it later on, but the change in the weather has led to me reassessing my off-off relationship with the turbo trainer.

essentially, i want to run my campagnolo disc wheel with a sram groupset. the reason i want to do this is because it’s the cheapest solution. therefore, i need to switch out the sram shifters with a set of shimano bar-ends instead. you can run sram with shimano. you can sometimes run campag shifters with sram cassettes. but generally, you run into noisy, clunky, shifty problems when attempting to introduce campagnolo to anything else that doesn’t have tullio’s seal of approval.

this is the bike:

purest smut

i’ve got a red one. it’s even faster because it’s red; this is a well-known fact about red bicycles. anyway, the red one is much cheaper because ‘the finishing kit’ is a lot cheaper, although the frame is exactly the same. i’ve got a hed 3 trispoke on the front. it came with a set of mavic aksiums which are perfect for training and/or turbo usage. the frame is fantastic, with hidden front and rear brake calipers, internally routed cables (behind the stem, where the air is already ‘dirty’, or so they say).

i bought it from echelon cycles in pershore. i highly recommend this bike shop. the proprietor is a really lovely chap called Tim, who races a bit as well. they couldn’t have been more helpful. i was also swayed in my decision to get this bike by Jeff Jones, who said it’s one of the fastest bikes he’s ever ridden, and that is was ‘fast right out of the box’, i.e without 100 hours of adjustments and faffage. i can’t wait to ride it in anger. i’m going to be seeing to my position and getting in some turbo hours between now and march. i will review the bike properly in the new season.

so anyway, it’s now a crazed hybrid, shimano, campagnolo and sram altogether in one ungodly mix. i currently have one sram and one shimano lever on there, which is horrific, but I am tempted to leave it like that just for bonus points when i turn up to the first race of the season. when you mix shimano and campag it’s sometimes called ‘shimergo’ (because of campag ergolevers). i don’t quite know what to call this miscegenated mishap… shrimpagnolo, srampagnomano, crampagano… it’s going to upset the purists whatever happens; those who would sooner eat a dead pigeon taken from the soles of the feet of one sick with the plague, than ride shimano.

carboniferous

i know alan had been making bonded frames, and i’ve seen a few other earlier variants, but this really caught my attention…

it’s a carlton flyer from 1979 with carbon main tubes; made at worksop. it’s brilliant.

full article is here.